CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous Connecticut Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference

July 29, 2006

1st Step-1st Call to Helpline

Filed under: Uncategorized — brenda @ 12:00 am

The COSLAA helpline 860 456 0032 is for the use of the suffering family, friend, or significant other whose life has been affected by a sex and love addict, but who does not have a pattern of sex and love addiction his/herself.

This reach out call is part of a newcomer\’s Step One, of surrendering to reality and admitting unmanageability. By calling the helpline the individual is asking for help from others who are part of a recovery program known as COSLAA.

We ask that a newcomer to COSLAA be the one to call the helpline. Well meaning partners, therapists, physicians, clergy, friends, etc. may offer the phone number, website information. But the help stops there. It is by the choice of a newcomer to use the helpline as a support that recovery can start for her/him. No one can force recovery on a newcomer. It simply will continue a struggle for control and someone else\’s will, and will not work.

Over the years of COSLAA members\’ stories of entering recovery the following principles have resounded true:
1. Making that first call can be the most difficult step to take, as it can bring up enormous pain, shame and guilt, and confusion.
2. The anger of emotional and sexual betrayal toward the sex and love addict can lead to blame and rage that can hide the parallel soul sickness of the family, friend or significant other to the sex and love addict.
3. The decision to turn one\’s eyes away from the sex addict and toward the suffering and unmanageable life of the family member is the beginning of recovery.
4. All newcomer calls are handled with respect and anonymity. Only first names are used and recovery support will be offered usually within 24 to 48 hours.
5. COSLAA offers a life saving recovery program for newcomers.


  1. Today will be the first day I attend a coslaa meeting. I did not feel shame when I called, but I did feel relief. My husband picked up a book about addiction and we were shocked as our lives unfolded in those pages. For the first time he admits that he has no control. I am in the deepest of pain. 24 years of agony without being able to name it.

    Comment by Kay — July 12, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

  2. Dear COSLA .

    I have been looking on the internet for support groups in the UK , as my fiancé suffers from Intimacy/sexual Anorexia.

    I live in the UK and my fiancé suffers from Intimacy /sexual Anorexia, I am looking for AA (AL ANON Style) group in the uk for partners/relatives of people with intimacy/sexual anorexia. Could anyone let me know if there are groups solely for partners/relatives and not only for people suffering from Intimacy/sexual Anorexia?

    Kind Regards

    Comment by estelle — January 30, 2012 @ 7:42 am

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