Tools for Recovery

Working the program-using COSLAA tools for
recovery

1.  Detachment and asking for help.
Letting go of the struggle to control the behavior of the sex and love addict and making a reach out call to the helpline 860 456 0032 are vital to early recovery.

2.  Attending 4-6 meetings.
Our program encourages newcomers to attend 4-6 meetings before deciding whether or not this 12 step group will be helpful to you.

3.  Working the steps.
Each of the twelve steps of COSLAA are featured a new step a month.  Although they are presented in order, the working of them is done as needed.

4.  Anonymity.
First names only.  What is spoken in the meeting, stays there.  Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program.

5.  Unity of purpose.
COSLAA has but one purpose, to reach the suffering family, friends, and significant others whose lives have been affected by a sex and love addict.  COSLAA meetings are not open to sex and love addicts.

6.  Serenity prayer.
Meetings open and close with this simple yet profound prayer to let go of the control of others and to take responsibility for managing one’s  life.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.

7.  Fellowship.
Members of COSLAA help each other come out of the isolation and loneliness of the illness of codependency to a sex and love addict.  Phone contact, taking a walk, meeting before or after a meeting can help to foster recovery.

8.  Sponsorship.
COSLAA encourages newcomers to ask to be “sponsored.”  This means a COSLAA member who has a year or more in program can help guide a newcomer in early self care and working the steps.  Steps 4 and 5 are suggested steps to work with a sponsor.

9.  Slogans.
Many of the 12 step slogans common to other 12 step groups may be used in COSLAA.  For example:  Let Go, Let God.
One Day at a Time. Easy does it.  Expect a miracle.  Progress not perfection.  To thine own self be true.  Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

10. Shedding shame.
Entering recovery, many newcomers carry shame about themselves and their sex addicted other.  COSLAA encourages dropping shaming as a way of coping.  Acceptance of one’s and another’s own illnesses of sex and love coaddiction–and their sex and love addiction–grants permission for each to work a recovery program.

11.  Keep coming back.
Meeting makers do make it.  That means continued attendance in COSLAA brings healing to initial wounding, and then greater healing in all areas on one’s life.  We will reap the COSLAA promise of a way of life that will allow us to be happier-securing a freedom beyond our current day to day living.